Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
