You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
