You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
