Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
