That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
