tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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