oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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