the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
