I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
