Having a random hookup so left but love u
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
