After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
