I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
