who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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