They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
