im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
