There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
