We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
