I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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