so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just gargled with NyQuil
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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