Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so let's talk penis.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
