No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
