It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
