Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
