I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Randomize
