so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
