garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
