When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
my poor anus
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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