I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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