She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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