wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
