the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
