it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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