I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
