just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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