with your own penis?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
