sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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