Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
