She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
