Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
