sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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