I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
