Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
