She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
