She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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