I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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