oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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