Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
