Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
