I cockslap morals
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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