Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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