You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
