I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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