Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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