How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
