I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
